Guru

first_imgGuruOn 15 Oct 2002 in Personnel Today Comments are closed. This week’s guruTime management takes on a whole new meaningArriving punctually at the office every morning has never been Guru’s forte– the incessant random thoughts that invade his consciousness ensure he isprone to distraction. One minute he’s in the middle of his morning shave, the next he hasconstructed a giant foam pyramid representing a new approach to measuring humancapital. Guru has been warned by the MD that the next time he arrives at workmore than two hours late, or still in his pyjamas, there will be trouble. Luckily, the latest technological development in timekeeping looks set tohelp Guru arrive on time. The Rise alarm clock retrieves and interprets trafficinformation that affects its owner through an in-built internet connection andadjusts waking time depending on expected delays. Unfortunately, Guru is already on his second version of this gadget after hewas awoken from a particularly deep sleep at an ungodly hour by its bleepingand battered it to a pulp. The census strikes backThere is only one Guru, but there are 58,789,194 people living in the UK. This the key finding of last year’s census, but Guru is awaiting the data onreligion. He is hoping that as a firm follower of the force, the Jedi faithwill finally be recognised. More than 70,000 Aussies put down Jedi as their religion in their lastcensus. But despite the groundswell in belief, it has not been recognised as anofficial religion. With anti-discriminatory legislation on religion in the offing, employershad better beware. If they are as insensitive as Darth Vader when it comes to employees’religious beliefs, confrontation could manifest itself in either legal action,or a duel with lightsabres. Don’t cry for surgery ArgentinaThe UK has so far managed to escape the worst effects of the economicdownturn and is enjoying remarkably full employment. In some less fortunatecountries though, job hunters have been reduced to extreme measures. In Argentina the unemployed are so desperate for work they are spending thelast of their savings on plastic surgery to try and make a better firstimpression. More than 20 per cent of the unemployed have resorted to cosmetic surgery toimprove their chances of landing a job. Dr Jose Cortes, a surgeon in the central city of Mendoza, explained:”In Argentina appearances are more important than competence when it comesto getting a job.” Guru suspects that this philosophy might have had wrecked the Argentineeconomy in the first place. Previous Article Next Article Related posts:No related photos.last_img

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